Friday, May 29, 2009

Leviticus 18

We have established such a great bedtime routine with our kids. They clean up, do the pajama and tooth-brushing thing, and then crawl into bed to wait for mom or dad to tuck them in. Da Hubby and I have this little deal worked out that we rotate nights putting them to bed. The evenings we are not putting them to night-night land we do the dishes. It's a sweet deal for sure. Anyway, when it is our turn to put them to bed, we read several verses from God's word to them.

Perri has a Bible devotional book that is WONDERFUL for her age and she will not go to sleep unless we read from it. Duglin picks out a picture from his Super Heroes Bible and we read him the story it goes with. Daylor is reading the Bible from cover to cover on his own desire, so he has been making his way through the Old Testament. It is so wonderful that they have the desire to want to read God's Love Letter with us and we are thrilled for the opportunity to be there to answer questions and participate in this evening event. Time consuming? Yes. Absolutely worth it.

It's amazing the sense of humor God has. I am not one who believes in a stoic, straight faced, and humorless God. The Father I know is comedic and funny and has perfect timing. As I am typing this out, I can almost hear His booming, musical laughter. Why? Well, as much as we LOVE reading the Bible we have had to deal with an issue that we hadn't thought of. The word that strikes fear and perhaps dread at the thought of in every parent. The "S" word.


Daylor has done a great job reading through the Old Testament. He has enjoyed the old stories of Moses and the nation of Israel. Then we got to Leviticus.......

Let's stop here for a second so I can fill you in with a few details. One of the great things about homeschooling is that we have avoided our kids learning about things such as sex at too early of an age or before we have felt that they were mature enough to talk about it. Granted, they could still hear it from neighborhood kids or kids from church, but we have been blessed that our children have, for the most part, been innocent to what sex is.

Da Hubby and I have both recently felt like our boys were getting old enough to have "the talk." We have also felt the Spirit urging us to share God's wonderful plan of sex with them. Frankly, we have been ignoring it. OK, so maybe ignoring isn't strong enough a word to describe our eludement (Yay! I made a new word!) of the subject matter. Perhaps, if I'm "keepin' it real" our behavior would be better be described as running away as fast as we can screaming as we go.

I never thought this would be so difficult! I really thought I would be the parent that would be OK with dealing such an issue. I have to say I am terrified! I am very open to talking about sex. With adults. It doesn't bother me talk about it. But, with my boys, the whole thought of having that conversation gives me heartburn.

SO! I am doing what every good mother of sons should do and passing the baton to my husband to talk with them. I'm such a giver!

We both agree that this is a conversation that he should be having with them, not me. You would think this would give me a big sigh of relief. Our boyz adore and look up to him. He is wonderful father. Not just a father, but a Daddy. But after hearing his best opening liner he was going to give them for the conversation, I am now SERIOUSLY concerned. Oh. My. Word. I will spare you his, um, "enlightened" choice of words, but trust me when I say the kids would need therapy for life. Pardon me, while I go take a bottle couple of TUMS.

So, back to Leviticus. We were doing fine with all the sacrificial ceremony commentary and the cleansing techniques before entering the Temple that the Old Testament was providing us. We discussed all the promises that God had made and fulfilled through and to His people. It was beautiful and precious, the conversations that were being sparked through God's Word. It was all interesting, good, and wonderful.

Until Leviticus 18. Yes, that enlighten chapter of Leviticus. I will wait so you can go read it for yourself.

See, what I mean?

Apparently, God was tired of the brush-off we were giving Him concerning this issue and made sure that this was the chapter Daylor would read to us last week.

*CHOKE***COUGH, COUGH*****CHOKE*********GASP**** Defibrillator, please....

Yeeeeeeeaah. Hmm. No easy way outta this one. Well, needless to say we will be having the "conversation" in the extreme future as many, many questions have been sparked since this reading. (I hear your giggles, Jesus. OK, not really, but I bet You're getting a big laugh outta this one.)

So, all of you mommies out there who know what I'm talkin' 'bout, how did you do it? Did you use a book to go along with the conversation? What was it? Did you experience the heart palpitations at the thought of discussing such a serious, but wonderful thing with your kids?

I am going to lay it out there for ya. If your your feelin' my pain, PLEASE leave me a comment as I would would be eternally grateful for any godly advice and possibly the loan of a Pacemaker. (Just in case.)


Anonymous said...

Hi Sonya,
I do not know the ages of your boys, but from the pictures it looks like they are still really young. Our oldest is 8 and we really feel like want to protect her purity and innocence and have just given her enough information to satisfy her curiosity.

Where to babies come from? our answer "God gives the mommy and egg and the daddy a seed. When the time is right the seed helps the egg to grow into a baby in the mommy's tummy." Pretty basic, but it was enough.

We are not planning to have that intimate talk with her until she's close to puberty (probably around 10-11ish). I plan to take her on a special mother daughter trip and have some fun with her but also use it as a special time to talk about her body, the changes she will begin to experience, and how God desires that she remain pure until marriage. Basically, "the talk" in a special setting, just she and I.

If your oldest is ready for this, have your hubby do something like this with him. As a teenager going through puberty he will experience changes and desires and it would be good to hear about this stuff from dad before it all happens. He WILL eventually find girls attractive but you don't have to give him all the details right away.

To answer all the questions in Leviticus, I would say that God designed special things between a husband and a wife and all these verses are saying that it's not OK to do these things with anyone or anything else. I don't think you have to go into too many details.

Honestly I would probably have my daughter just skip Leviticus right now and say that this book is a book of laws for the adults who sometimes weren't sure exactly how they were supposed to obey God. He makes it very clear in Leviticus, but many of the things are things that adults can understand well. And would be good for him to read when he gets a little older.

So that's my 2 cents worth! Hope it helps.
(saw your post on BWC)

Jill said...

Yes I feel your pain. My children are 11 and 13 and we still haven't had the talk. Yes there have been questions, but we answer the best we can and go on. I am afraid of how they might use the information I give them.
Above is a list of books from CBD that might be helpful.

Ari said...

No advice. Just wow...have fun!

Jennie said...

First of all, I'm with you on the "Whew, it's dad's job" and the passing off of many questions with "You should ask your dad that one"!! To Michael's credit, he's always been very open with them and told them that he would answer any question they would have openly and honestly. And we've found that really when they're younger, they don't really want to know as much as you might think. Sometimes just a simple straightforward answer is all it takes. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn out conversation. Since the boys have turned 8, each year Michael takes the boys out on their birthday and gives them an open invitation to talk about whatever they want. Ask anything they want. It has really been great and I think the openness has taken so much of the mystery and "wierdness" out of the whole subject. There are some books from Focus on the Family (or maybe it's Family Life) that are excellent at addressing ways to answer questions for boys or girls at different ages. I'll find the titles and pass it on. I've seen them at the Bellevue library.

When J&J were 11, Michael took them away for a weekend and did the Passport to Purity (from FamilyLife). It was amazing and he'll be doing it this year with Jeffrey. It pulls no punches and talks straight about a lot of things and challenges them to think ahead about different situations and decide NOW how you're going to respond. Since the time when they were young, we've set the purity standard VERY high, so by the time they arrive at age 11, 12, 13, etc. it's already ingrained in their heads. It's not new.

We've also told J&J that while they are always free to talk with dad about things, there are things that are inappropriate to talk about w/ younger brothers. I think that's been helpful in keep the innocence of Jeffrey and Josiah. I still think they will ask questions sooner than J&J did, but at least we know that J&J have been encouraged to direct all those conversations and question to Michael and I.

Does that help???? I'll be praying! :-)