Me: "OK, guys! Are we set?"
Them: "We are ready. "
Me: "OK. Now remember to sit still and put your best smile on when you see the red light start blinking. Ready?"
Them: "Yes, Mama. Is this gonna take long?"
Me: "Only as long as YOU make it take. Here we go! Smile!!!" (click)
Me: "OK! Not bad. Duglin - maybe sit up a bit and smile a little more!"
ME: "One more time! Smile, everyone!" (click)
Me: "Well, we are getting there. Honey (Duglin)- I still think you have a better smile in there. Can you show it to the camera next time?"
Duglin: "I guess."
Perri: "How is my smile, Mommy? Is it a princess type smile or should I show more teeth?"
Me: "Whatever you were doing before looks fine, sweetie. OK. Now let's try this again. SMILE!!!!!" (click)
Me: "Umm, Duglin. That maybe too much of a smile, honey."
Duglin: "But you SAID to smile bigger. I smiled bigger."
Me: "Yes, you did, but it looks, well, like you are in pain, not smiling. Let's try this ONE MORE TIME! Everybody set? SMIIIIIILE!!"
Duglin: "Yes, Mommy."
Me: "You look like you are are gritting your teeth, not smiling."
Duglin: "Mommy, I'm trying really hard!"
Me: "I know you are, but I think that might be the problem. Just.....smile. Ahhh! I have an idea. Think of how you might look if Santa Claus were here and how happy you would be! OK?"
Me: "OK! ONE MORE TIME!!! Everybody say, "Look! There's Santa!"
Everyone: "Look! There's Santa!!!!"
Me: "Wow. Umm (trying not to die laughing). That's an interesting face there, Duglin. OK. I can see this is not working. Let's do this one more time." So I devise a plan to say something funny right before the camera shoots. "Everyone ready?"
Them: "yes.....(moans, rolling eyes, whimpers)"
Me: "OK, camera's counting down. What's something that's funny?"
Daylor: "You mean like Daddy tooting?" (click)
So can you tell by the flare of my nostrils I knew it was over? As the famously, overly used cliche saying goes:
OK - So, we did finally get a decent one. So what if Duglin looks a little constipated? Life imitating art...or is it art imitating life? Hmmmmm, I need to think about that one!